“Yes, you've told me before.”
The words I speak into the phone are calm, but my heart sinks--as with every
other proof of your unravelling.
I wish I could grasp at those strands of memory that keep escaping, replaced by
things that never were.
And as the strands slip away, fears of all kinds come to stay. They crowd your
mind; danger lurks around every corner.
Maybe we are not that different. The fears have made a home in me too. One of
them bothers me the most.
I'm afraid that when I finally see you, I will not know you.
I love the walks to school on winter mornings. The crisp weather, the leisurely stride, the friendly banter between my daughters and their cousin. Sometimes they link arms with her—not with each other, to be sure—and sometimes they take quick steps, trying to outpace each other. The puffy black jacket I bought a decade ago on another continent serves me well. Today, grey clouds loom above, but so far there is no rain. (It doesn’t take long for the streets to fill with water when it does rain, and then the walk turns into a delicate crisscrossing dance.) We’re approaching the school gate now. “Anyone want to hug and kiss me in public?” I quip. The girls politely decline, but they do say salam and “I love you.” I stand until they pass through the doors; both of them look at me and wave. I turn back, and soon I’m crossing a one-way road; I live in Egypt, so I look both ways. My way back is contemplative. I study all the greenery on my path—trees and bushes of various shapes and sizes. Som...
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