Skip to main content

Provisions

I turn the key counter-clockwise, once, twice, three times, each turn accompanied by a satisfying click. I walk down the stone steps, avoiding the uneven bits that have eroded over time, my hand gliding across the wooden railing.

I step out into the sun, and my heart swells at its warmth and at the clear blue sky. I spring down the steps, turn left on the footpath, and turn left again onto the main road. In a few minutes, I will reach my destination. My tongue whispers various supplications. My steps are brisk and determined, but I am calm. I pass men, women, and children on my way, each carrying stories unknown to me.

I soon spot the cart. I give the greeting of peace as I approach, and the man standing there responds. I tear a plastic bag away and start placing potatoes inside. I choose the big ones after turning them over to examine them.

I walk over to the scales, placing the bag on one side and the two-kilogram weight on the other. The bag is heavier. I remove the smallest potato, and the scale inches upwards; equilibrium.

I select some cucumbers next -- the thinnest are the best -- and then some green peppers and then tomatoes. There aren’t many left; I gently comb through them, looking for any that are both red and firm.

People come and go around me, haggling and harping while they collect vegetables of their own. A lone man stops to ask for directions. (Someone always does.)

I suddenly remember that I wanted parsley. And bananas. The parsley is tied into a bunch with a stalk looped into a knot. The man cuts off the bananas with a curved knife.

When I pay, he doesn’t have change, so I take a few lemons instead of two pounds.

The man helps me pack the vegetables into the two cloth bags I’ve brought with me. I give the greeting of peace and walk away. He doesn’t hear me this time; he’s surrounded by customers making demands.

I go back the way I came. I thank Him for the provisions I’m carrying, for the money in my wallet, for the sunshine on a winter’s day.


(February 2020)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

To school on a winter morning

I love the walks to school on winter mornings. The crisp weather, the leisurely stride, the friendly banter between my daughters and their cousin. Sometimes they link arms with her—not with each other, to be sure—and sometimes they take quick steps, trying to outpace each other. The puffy black jacket I bought a decade ago on another continent serves me well. Today, grey clouds loom above, but so far there is no rain. (It doesn’t take long for the streets to fill with water when it does rain, and then the walk turns into a delicate crisscrossing dance.) We’re approaching the school gate now. “Anyone want to hug and kiss me in public?” I quip. The girls politely decline, but they do say salam and “I love you.” I stand until they pass through the doors; both of them look at me and wave. I turn back, and soon I’m crossing a one-way road; I live in Egypt, so I look both ways. My way back is contemplative. I study all the greenery on my path—trees and bushes of various shapes and sizes. Som...

The writer in me

The writer in me, nurtured at an early age but silenced in its prime by country-hopping, teaching, and babies —an occasional gasp for air its only reprieve from slow suffocation— longs to speak again. I've so much to say, it tells me, but you haven't been listening. Don't hold me back, it says by shopping, cooking, and lame excuses. Let me go, it says; let me speak. Ya Allah, strengthen my voice. (July 2018)

Push back

It's always right there, just around the corner, at your fingertips. A simple tap or click opens it up, and it's ready to swallow you up. Push it back—those floodgates bursting with everything evil and ugly. Push back the paralysis and the despair. We feel a strange obligation towards the despair. We call it being connected, being in-the-know. We faithfully wring our hands at each calamity, scattering broken hearts and crying faces before scrolling past. And then—we're left more disconnected than ever. Emptier than ever. More confused than ever. It's a strange reality that pelts us with images without context. Small, ugly pieces of a larger picture we cannot see. And so, we see the pain, but not the Plan. We see suffering and destruction, but not Mercy, not Love, not Wisdom. We are so focused on the hideous pieces that we forget to look beyond them. Don't be the ostrich; no. But why seek out what will cause you despair? Why jump into a place with no air and then won...